My first childhood memory is of a sleepover at my oldest friend, Matthew Doughtie’s house. He and I were in the Montessori Yellow Room together and our mother’s arranged this play date. Looking back on it now, I’m sure Betsy’s charitable side took over when she agreed to take one of the six Asnip kids for the night. I had never spent the night away from home and when Tim and Betsy tucked us in for the night I got scared and didn’t want them to leave. I shattered Mathew’s 4-year-old ego by suggesting he wasn’t strong enough to protect me from the monsters in the closet. Tim did exactly what a smart, sleep deprived father of a boy would do…he gave me a baseball bat and told me to go to bed. I abandoned my teddy bear and clung to that bat all night.

Many years later I was living by myself in a little apartment in Charleston. Having an active imagination, I spent countless hours in bed convinced that a bump in the night was actually a serial killer. On these sleepless nights I could have had a glass of wine, popped an Ambien and drifted off to la la land. Instead, just as a wise man had taught me years before, I would head to the kitchen and grab a knife or a hammer or a candlestick, tuck it safely away under my mattress and sleep would eventually come. Thanks, Tim for the lesson of self-reliance (and for keeping me off the sauce).

That wasn’t the only childhood first and life lesson I received from Tim Doughtie. Matthew was my first date when we went together to the 8th grade prom. He arrived at my door with a pretty pink corsage in hand and a very proud smile on his face. I looked out the window and there in the driveway under a drape of Spanish moss was Tim Doughtie looking quite dapper in a chauffeur hat holding 2 glasses of sparkling grape juice and standing in front of a classic Rolls Royce. Matthew and I may have only been going to an old high school gymnasium, but Tim made sure we arrived in style. That night immediately became my gold standard for dates and it wasn’t until I met my husband 20 years later that a man could compare. Thanks, Tim for teaching me not to settle (and the fun of a dramatic entrance).

I was married exactly one year ago and I have a letter from Tim that is dated October 28, 2005. He and Betsy gave us a coffee maker as a wedding gift and I promptly sent them a thank you note. Tim did me one better and sent me a thank you note for MY thank you note. The letter is classic Tim and holds a place of honor in my wedding album. Thanks Tim, for the lessons and the memories.